Acts of Kindness

On my way to work this morning I saw a student slip on the ice and fall. Without hesitation, two students walking close behind ran up to help her get up and pick up her belongings. A fantastic first-thing-in-the-morning reminder that above all else it is these basic acts of human decency that we should notice, appreciate, and replicate.

define "od"

od

äd

noun

historical

1. a hypothetical power once thought to pervade nature and account for various phenomena, such as magnetism.

Sauter (v.) - to jump

Native American fashion

What a stunning strong image!

Image taken from: http://mic.com/articles/118150/stunning-images-show-how-american-indian-fashion-looks-without-cultural-appropriation

On Elevators

"Do you mind?.. He likes pushing the button." Sex and the City's Miranda is annoyed by the Sunday influx of kids at her gym, and she does mind when a little boy pushes all the buttons causing the elevator to stop at every floor.

Did I like pressing the elevator button when I was a kid? Oh yeah. Oh yeah - I still love it. Because when you're an immigrant kid coming from a struggling lower-class community, where functioning elevators are not at the top of the government's to-do list, the shiny noise-less elevators of suburban America are especially thrilling.

For one, back home every ride in an elevator is spent in a mental battle, trying to push back all those horror stories you've heard of people getting stuck. ...I had a bad feeling as I walked in...half way up I heard a strange noise...suddenly the light went off and everything stopped...it took me five minutes of fumbling in the dark to find the emergency button...and another two hours until someone came to pry the elevator open... So the stories go. And when you're halfway through your ride, you can swear you're hearing a weird noise and the lights are flickering and - the end is near! The thing is they never actually fix the elevators either. They come to pry the one stuck out (the "stuck-er", the "stuck-y"?), and then they kick the elevator back into its normal barely functioning condition. Literally - kick it back to condition. And that's the end of the story! There's no follow up, no troubleshooting, no service call placed. Psch! - what is this - suburban America?

Alright, you don't get stuck every time, of course. But let's talk about the buttons. Do you know what it takes for a little kid to press the button of an ancient overworked elevator that wasn't built up to any standards to begin with? It takes Herculean strength, that's what. Those buttons don't have touch censors, they don't light up when you press them, and they altogether refuse to accept your request, until you leverage your weight against the opposite wall and give it the push of your life. And even when they don't need be pushed overly hard, sometimes they need to be pushed a little down or a little to the right, or in some other sort of skilled zig-zag movement.

And finally, it's not infrequent to come across an elevator where the writing on the buttons has long since wiped off. And while you might think it's easy enough to count five buttons up to get to the fifth floor, there might be a lower basement level, there might be a couple, there might be simply unused buttons that were never removed and now look just like the rest of them, or the buttons might start with the top floors on the bottom. And it takes a life-time of knowledge and experience to deduce the button placement of the elevator at hand from the type of the building it's in, the age of the elevator, the location of the neighborhood, etc, etc.

Yes, I love pushing the elevator buttons. I love to feel that adrenaline rush as the horrifying childhood memories pour in and mix with the thrill of the shiny upscale elevator.

Солдатик

По будним дням я редко успеваю погреться в приятном теплом душе. Обычно, пол часа после того как прозвенел будильник, я успеваю только быстро сполоснуться. На этой неделе три или четыре раза во время утреннего экпресс-душа, в спешке я замечала что на противополжом конце ванны сидит жучок. Жучок, которого в народе называют Солдатик.

Вообще я люблю и уважаю природу. Я знаю что у каждого червячка и букашки есть место и смысл, и совсем не люблю когда мы принебрегаем благополучием животных. Но насекомые мне противны. И солдатики, хотя они не очень мешают, уже лет пять каждую зиму заполняют наши дома и другие теплые помещения. Иногда они летают и громко жужжат. А когда им вежливо намекают найти другое место жительства – жутко воняют.

Итак, несколько раз на этой неделе в шесть утра возникали очень напряженные моменты. Мои глаза, мысли и брезгливость фокусировались на неподвижом солдатике, и еще не проснувшись я усердно пыталась понять правильно ли будет принять меры и изменить эту неприятную мне ситуацию.

Но утром время бежит быстро, и думать некогда. Вода выключалась, хваталось полотенце, и солдатик оставался нетронутый.

Наконец в пятницу вечером, выкинув из головы тяжелые будни, я включила воду и зашла в душ чтобы как следует помыться и раслабиться. Было тепло и хорошо. И только через несколько минут, хотя мой взгляд не менял направление, перед моими глазами образовался он. Солдатик за эту долгую неделю перебрался на другой конец ванны и сидел на белой стене, недалеко от кранна, рядом со мной.

Какое-то время мы оба неподвижно находились в душе. Он сидел, а я смотрела на него сверху. Вдруг, одна капля воды отскачила от моего тела и попала прямо в солдатика. Он упал в лужу образовавшуюся рядом со сливом. Он крутился в воде и противно махал шестью ногами. Я все также смотрела на него. Ну зачем мне тебя спасать? Ну какое мне до тебя дело? Солдатик выбрался, но еще одна капля воды снова сбила его в лужу.

И тут я подумала, а что мне стоит его спасти? Большой палец моей ноги протянулся к тонущему. Солдатика аккуратно вынесло из лужи. Казалось, что было принято правильное решение и история закончилась.

Но тут третья капля воды с особой силой попала в солдатика, он упал прямо к сливу и через секунду его уже не было.

***

Work, first conversation of the day...
"Hi, are you Sonya? What's your email?"
"Let me write it down for you, my last name is ridiculous."
...

"Oh wow, that is ridiculous." ‪#‎italianfaculty‬ ‪#‎noshame‬

Vibrancy!

Here's to living vibrantly and energetically!

White and bright

A couple of my photos!

Quality Cognac

I glanced down at the table. There was an envelope. “0% APR. Get your MasterCard now!”

It was a nice evening. It was always nice here: kind people, incredible hosts, intelligent conversation, comfortable home, quality cognac…

“The quality of life in 18^th century France was reflected in the rhythm of its poetic verses,” my host was saying. The conversations here always sounded something like this. And although I valued education and the intelligent people in my life, there was something strange about the conversation in this house, and I was never really able to follow.

“Every major war in world history has been followed by a change in fashion,” another host said.

I glanced at the name on the envelope: Elizabeth Carmen Arnou. The name itself looked like it came out of an epic 19^th century novel. Everything here was like this. It was infused with history, literature, books. And every visit I tried to listen and understand, but I never felt in place.

Many people in my life were well educated. They discussed similar topics and I was intrigued; listened, learned, sometimes even had something to say. But here conversation was so focused on knowledge and facts that it seemed to crowd out everything else; everything that makes us human – feelings, friendship, laughter…

I had just come back from visiting a close friend in Salt Lake City. The weekend there was so simple, pleasant, enjoyable. Honest conversations, interesting discussions, jokes; we shared life experiences and our feelings about them.

“A lot of influence in Russia’s 19^th century literature came from German writers…"

Was I just stupid? I tried to embrace my inferior role at this dinner table by reaching for the cat as it was passing by and nearly fell off the chair. For a minute the conversation stopped as everyone worked to pick up my chair and myself along with the cat.

Elizabeth Carmen Arnou.

Perhaps it was the lack of communication that bothered me here. They were talking, but they were not communicating. This cognac infused conversation was a mere line up of facts and quotes. It was not a dialog. There was little exchange of ideas or transfer of emotions, just back and forth facts. Is it not communication that makes humans so special? Is it not communication that has allowed us to learn from past mistakes, build, grow, and create a high quality of life? And is it not communication that has created written history and all the gorgeous facts my hosts were so proudly reciting?

I have always said that I enjoy “down to earth” people, but what does that mean? Does “down to earth” indicate stupidity? A lower socio-economic status? Or is it an interest in sharing with others? An ability to relate to someone who might not know so much about 19^th century literature? A desire to learn from all the people in this world? A desire to communicate.

The envelope caught my eye again. I looked at the return address: P.O. Box 457286, Salt Lake City, UT.

I love Intermissions

After a plastic glass of champagne during intermission at a Baroque Symphony concert, thus enjoying the second half even more than the first, I remembered Borge's wonderful talk on intermissions.

"We're going to have an intermission pretty soon... What's the matter - you don't like intermissions?! I love them; smoke, cigarette... We're going to have an intermission of about an hour and half tonight!"

Borge and I only lived at the same time for about a decade. He fell sick shortly before coming on tour to Columbus and never recovered. Yet his jokes and classy style have always been hugely present in my life. They've sparked millions of laughs, a relationship, and sadly lots of bored faces from friends stuck late at night forcefully watching his YouTube videos.

But it wasn't until last Saturday evening, listening to Haydn's "London" Symphony, that I realized for the first time that Victor Borge is no longer with us; no longer enjoying intermissions, and no longer joking. It is hard to acknowledge that someone is gone when they continue giving us so many positive emotions so many years later.

May you rest in peace, Victor Borge. May you always hear the sound of delicate wooden keys, and may those big opera singers not burden your sleep with their heavy arias.

Matisse

"All things considered, there is only Matisse." - Pablo Picasso

Meet Matisse.

Dinner

My mom said that we are no longer Russian. My dad said we are still Russian, just not mainstream Russian. I just sat there and ate whatever they gave me.

Everybody wants a flame

Bonfire Heart

Your mouth is a revolver
Firing bullets in the sky
Your love is like a soldier,
Loyal 'til you die
And I’ve been looking at the stars
For a long, long time
I’ve been putting out fires
All my life

Everybody wants a flame,
They don’t want to get burnt
And today is our turn

Days like these lead to...
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just some-
One that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

This world is getting colder.
Strangers passing by
No one offers you a shoulder.
No one looks you in the eye.
But I’ve been looking at you
For a long, long time
Just trying to break through,
Trying to make you mine

Everybody wants a flame,
They don’t want to get burnt
Well, today is our turn

Our bonfire hearts
Our bonfire hearts
Our bonfire hearts
You light the spark

People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just some-
One that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

J'adore Dior...

Love this commercial, elegant, powerful.

Евгений Плющенко

Today we abruptly had to say farewell to a national hero.  But in good spirit, I leave it with this :) .

"Pan Comforting Psyche"

From one of Berlin's museums - "Pan Comforting Psyche", I love the personalities of this statue.

On fate, and airports

Some people believe in leaving it up to fate (are you kidding me?), some people believe in planning everything to the smallest detail (oh, come on).  And some people weigh their options and make sound decisions, but still like to think that sometimes fate might have a little something to do with it.  These people are the ones who enjoy those moments, when you've booked an airplane ticket and really the only reason you have a layover in that particular city and a glass of wine at that particular bar, is that the airfaire search engine you used happened to find that ticket, and you happened to search for it on the day when it was marked at its lowest price.  These moments, when you sit at that airport bar, are when it is easiest to put life into perspective, and appreciate, that it might have been your sound decisions or it might have been fate, that put you there.

Mr. Giggles (The Little Question)

I have a bunny, his name is Mr. Giggles...  That was his name in the catalog when I ordered him as a make-it-yourself stuffed toy somewhere around 8th grade.  A toy bunny, yes.

Well anyhow, Mr. Giggles sits on the rim of my couch against the wall, along with a kitty that was left behind by a little girl several years ago at the restaurant where I worked.  Kitty doesn't have a name, but they are both white, with pink ears, and although Mr. Giggles doesn't have eyes - they're closed, he is Mr. Giggles after all - I'm sure they would be blue like Kitty's if they were open.  So let's call her Ms. Kitty.

So in an intense moment of yet another Sex and the City episode, grasping that light-bulb moment that the show can instill in your thoughts, something made me remember Ms. Kitty.  I was sitting right on that couch, and Mr. Giggles and Ms. Kitty were just a head rotation away, and...

Well I had Mr. Giggles and Ms. Kitty gently snuggling on the rim of the couch, nose to cheek, ear to ear - that kind of thing.  But somewhere in the past few weeks or maybe few months, I guess Mr. Giggles had...rotated.  Anyhow, when I looked, Ms. Kitty was smelling Mr. Giggle's a**!

I said, "Mr. Giggles!!!"

And then I grabbed Ms. Kitty, or should I say Mrs. Giggles, brushed the fake fur away from her fake blue eyes and made sure that Mr. Giggles was in a decent position before I let her back.

I guess you never know when something will have a life of its own.

The Big Question

What if we personify nature?  Imagine that it is angry.  What if we have done too much to hurt nature; built too many houses, polluted too much air?  What if nature is angry and retaliating?

Do we have to personify it to see it in this way?  Isn't this exactly what is happening?  Nature, the environment, can no longer take the pressure we have put on it.  The recent disasters – the typhoons, the Hurricanes – are a result of what we have done, of how we have ruined nature.  We don't have to give nature our human qualities to see what it happening.

Where have humans come from anyways? Nature created us. Through years of evolution we came out with a mutation no other thing or creature had – a big brain. We have been able to gain power over all the other creatures, over diseases, even over nature to some extent. But in the end, we have ruined this planet. Now that we are beginning to suspect the damage we have caused, we’re saying, “Let’s go to Mars. Is there water on Mars? Can we live on Mars?” Are we just going from one planet to the next, leaving them ruined along the way, like carelessly jumping from one relationship to the next, breaking one heart, and moving on to break the next one? Is this all our big brains have given us, is this all we are capable of?

We have evolved to have big brains and we have learned how to use them, but in the end, what have they given us? We have destroyed our own planet and all the other living things on it. And unless we go to Mars, and then onto the next planet, and manage to keep surviving and moving on in this fashion, we will destroy ourselves. Our big brains will kill us.

Let’s think about all the great things our brain power has given us: solutions to diseases, the knowledge to produce technology. The technology has polluted the environment and is threatening the planet, the diseases have evolved and died out along with us. Perhaps some of these diseases would never have evolved if we hadn't gone so far out of nature?  I'll try to personify nature again.  Nature has long known that we are on the path to destruction and it has punished us along the way with various diseases. Diseases that we have overcome so far. But at some point we won't be able to keep up with it, we won't be able to overcome everything nature throws at us. We cannot deny that nature is a stronger force then us humans.

If our brains have caused so much damage, where did they come from?  Well, following Darwin’s theory, creatures have been evolving and this is what we ended up with.  I say “end up” but is this the end? Evolution has gone on for millions of years. Maybe we are just a small part of it. Maybe our brains are like those giraffes whose necks were not long enough to reach the leaves on the tallest trees. Maybe we were one of those mutations that was not good for survival, and now we are dying off.

Another question is what makes us think we should personify nature? Why do we think that prescribing human qualities to other things gives them additional validity? Nature is clearly the stronger force. Shouldn't we be nature-ify-ing things instead? To personify means to assign emotions and feelings to an object, or another creature.  We assume that other things do not have these emotions, and that emotions make us superior. But what have our emotions achieved? Religion, love, hatred – they have all caused so much bloodshed, and have they done anything for the greater good? The people who refuse to utilize animal products because they feel sad for the animals that have to die for them, are they the only ones using emotions for the good of nature and other creatures?

Does nature have a brain? Does it have emotions? I guess not. But if you consider everything nature has done, it follows a path, guidelines, it makes sense. What have humans done that makes sense? Is there a stronger organ than the brain? And what in the end are we trying to achieve with our brains – power? Is there a stronger organ that we don’t have, that leads to survival? Does nature have that organ, should we be trying to figure out what it is, and how we can attain it, how we can nature-ify ourselves?

I guess the question this all leads to is “What do we do?” Is there anything we can do? Do all of our questions and debates of politics, religion, family values really matter? Are we focusing on solving the wrong questions? Should we be thinking about learning from nature, about our survival? Should we be letting nature show us the way? Do we have any time left or have we made nature too angry?

One thing our brains have clearly done is “cracked the code” of nature. We have understood how it works. That speaks for something. To our knowledge, we are the only ones who have done so. But have we used this knowledge the wrong way? Is there a way for us to understand nature and coexist with it? Nature created us; why do we not take its ways into consideration when populating it?

In the grand scheme of things, is this just a little battle between humans and nature that has come out in a tie. Does nature eternally fight against its creations? Are there other little “humans” that are losing the battle somewhere else in the universe? Is this a repeating phenomenon?  Other animals also destroy bits of nature, like beavers that cut down trees.  But there are never enough of them to make a lasting impact, nature can recuperate.  Humans, because our brains have created the technology to survive in times when other creatures would not, have overpopulated nature.  It can no longer recuperate at the pace we destroying it.  We have thrown it off balance, and it is doing the same to us.

I am not sure how many of these ideas are legitimate, but the basic question is real. Our mutation, our big brains are destroying our own world. As a result of our actions, nature is throwing us hurdles that we cannot handle. People are dying. Do we turn our brains the other way and pretend not to see, or do we use them to solve these big questions?